Zindagi Everyday

I assume almost every Indian has travelled in our indian railway trains atleast once. I travel atleast 2 times in a year to visit my native place and that too night travel. In so  many years of my journey, I have come across different varieties of sound, snores, smells and god knows what. Seriously, its like a mini zoo in the night. The people looks so modern, fashionable, geeks, and so many different personalities...but as soon as people start sleeping , everyone is in the same league....some kind of race against each other. The race between who snores louder :D .Somewhere its a mini train in itself whistling and running, while at some other berth(seat) its like a aeroplane or helicopter flying, somewhere else its kind of roaring...Variety of sounds see !!
And along with that comes the different yucky farts, and I woke up with something bothering my nose...grrrr....Now the combinations of SNORES and FARTS really make it difficult to sleep in even 2nd AC compartment of trains, I wish if I had travelled in a sleeper class with all windows open...atleast there would have been a fresh air to breathe in. Anyways, by the time its morning around 5 am, the long queues to washrooms make it impossible to go back to sleep again,  more worse don't even think of peeing in those early hours where your turn may never come ..phew....
At the end the train arrives at my station, and instead of having a nice comfortable seating arrangement I end up all sleepy and tired to my mom's home, thanks to all those noises, and smellssss.

Well this post is totally about my hobby of 'Photography'. I love to click, earlier used the cell phones, and now happy with my camera (read DSLR) . Now the question is if i love to click, then where is the space for dilemma.
Actually my dilemma lies in me. I am too shy to take my gear out at any public place. The following eyes of people in vicinity make me cringe a bit from inside,in other words I feel self conscious whenever I am around people. There is a war in my head 'whether to take the camera with me or leave it at home' . My love for street photography and portraits are suffering. Wondering how people go bindass and click, and I couldn't convince myself to stay calm.
May be one reason for being hesitant is I don't go alone to click. Mostly family trips are used as an opportunity to do some clicking. And every time I end up like a coolie, with baby bag on one shoulder and camera bag on the other.....which is  quite a handful for my medium frame.
Phew....as said 'This too shall pass', looking forward to the day when I will have to carry just me and my camera bag, offering my camera to be handy.

My little girl is always dressed up with woolen dresses, jackets, pajamas, caps, inners, pullovers,and what not to protect her from winters. Today is also the normal winter day, and my kid is adamant to wear her Jeans , standing without her pajamas. So for a change , instead of saying a big flat NO to her, I picked up the jeans and gave it to her. Watching her joy, her enthusiasm to wear it, her efforts to put it on...everything just made me ask a question to myself that why I always have to say NO for even little things which somehow are making her independent in some or other ways. Followed with a guilt of saying NO to her every time, accompanied with her screams, and cries, her Irritation and her tears....such small petty things are not precious than  my kid.
Hoping to say more of yes, along with more of patience and time to my kid is the new approach of myself to the motherhood !!