Zindagi Everyday

 Logging back into my blogspace, I am not surprised to see many of the blogs which I follow have not gotten updated long back. So the question arises in my mind about the future of the blogging, Is it really worth continuing the blog, pouring your heart out which usually comprise of our very own experiences, feelings, thoughts, opinions, kids and lot more including what is happening around us, ofcourse if its not a technical blog, or some current topics running through.
Even though the blogger space is mostly anonymous writing, but still it strikes a chord with the readers out there. The essence of blog comes from readership only, the readers inspire the bloggers to write. But today's scenario is more of BLOGGER vs VLOGGER. I myself am guilty of being in this VLOGGER viewership category. No doubt today there are videos available on Youtube on almost every topic one can think of. And no doubt to view something done infront of our eyes makes it easier to follow and engage. Since these days I am more inclined towards home management, home decor, easy peasy cooking and other household related stuff, these vloggers and their videos make things really inspiring and easy to follow instead of reading n number of articles on the internet. As I am talking about it, let me not forget to mention some of the Youtubers I rely on to get my work done in organised and efficient manner which in turn makes my home life a bit easy to manage. Truly they are doing some mind blowing practical work. Kudos to them.

Youtubers for Home decor and organisation: 1) Home Hashtag Life by Jaya
    Link :https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChRqqBs8rIfR2x8Mtak6IFw

2) Simplify Your Space
    Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2GT4HiSvUipWNwcWUM7iJQ

3) Bowerspace
    Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkcu-cMKC67Db0AsQwu-aUg/featured

4) Cooking time With aakanksha
    Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqijukm8u4OiDHAIYFkxg

Youtuber for Cooking 5) Nisha Madhulika
    Link : https://www.youtube.com/user/NishaMadhulika

Youtuber for tips about beauty,haircare etc 6) Ghar Grihasti
   Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVfaSe1Mv2y_Xn-ZGYv5Yqw

Okay, so after going all gaga over these efficient and gorgeous youtubers, let me get back to my post content. So this thought about the relevance of this blogging space is creating so many conflicts in my mind. One of the concern also includes about the privacy. Though I like to make a note of almost every significant step in my parenting journey but I think its kind of not ok to share the kiddos pics, habits, activities etc.Though this very thought kills the main objective of my blog, but taking a far look its obvious that after few years I won't like to share my life here citing the vulnerability on the internet. So, now the question arises, what I am going to blog about here if not parenting. And for sure, as of now I don't have an answer handy with me. Lets see what comes up in this space next time . And yes continuity also is a serious factor to be taken care of and that's an area which really needs to be worked upon.


Image Courtesy : Google images

Well after almost a year long hiatus I decided to peek into my blogspace .Lot of things have happened in between, some are happy, some are trying, some are memorable, some are haunting, and the list is endless. Here I definitely want to share somethings which are really dear to me. Hope that doesn't make you go all sleepy as its a longggg post :D

1) From past more than one year, I have got associated with 'CUEMATH' where I teach mathematics to kids from grades UKG- 8th. And so far this is the most satisfying, engaging, and honoring work I am doing in my life till now. The corporate career which I had was never satisfactory to me. I always thought that may be I have ended up in wrong profession, I never found myself fitting in it. Well, let me hold my zodiac responsible for doing all this locha(blunder) in my head. Being a Gemini, I really can't find stability in one thing, and this insists me to be on look out for new things from time to time, and I trust this fact completely since I have changed my career choices too :D

Jokes apart, I really learnt a lot from my corporate life. My survivor skills , flexibility, adaptability, emotional stability all are the gifts of that life. But deep inside I never liked my work( just like every other person in IT profession). I wanted to do something which can interest me, and give a feeling of contentment. For sure before the previous year, I never thought that my this search of contentment will be fulfilled in teaching kids. The earnings can never be compared as now I work for contentment, but yeah leaving a full time job do sucks at financial front.

I can surely say, Cuemath is one of the best things happened to me. Initially I had my doubts if I will be able to teach since I never had teaching in my mind. But thanks to Cuemath support, my efforts, family support, and my first few students and their parents who trusted me and handed their kids mathematical journey in my hands, today am really PROUD of myself. In current scenario, people recognise me in my locality , this recognition I have not got while I was working full time, nobody knew me, but now my family is known by my name and work. The appreciation the parents and students have towards me as a Cuemath teacher is something which keeps my spirits high and motivates me. Parents come to my  home with their kids with an expectation that I will mentor them and lay a strong foundation of their educational journey. That feel is beyond explanation when people respect you and your work. I stay at home, manage my family life my kid, and do my work in my comfort level. All I can say is I AM LOVING IT ( touchwood touchwood).
Well this moral boost has also inspired me to think of teaching as a full time profession to pursue, but yeah I need to get requalified for this profession which is as of now not exciting me enough.

2) The second thing to share is ofcourse my kiddo. She is a 5 year old child now and the way she is turning out makes me go all awww. But yeah its a test of patience to bring up the kids and I am very bad at being patient. And still she copes with me, understands me and adjusts with me. I know I  am not perfect and seriously I don't know all about parenting, but then I am growing up with my girl as a mother. We are growing together and someday I may be the best friend of my daughter. Fingers crossed.....

3) The third event is something which is like a dream for me, I mentioned 'me' , because its something which excites only me and not the head of the family, Mr. Hubby. Nothing is finalised , nothing is done, but still just getting a nod for it seems one step near to my dream. So what is it about which I am going on and on. The dream is to have a house of our own. Though practically, it may not sound relevant as we stay in joint family setup, have our own space in the house, and no financial burdens over us. But for me its something which I had from the day I began to earn. I always wanted to have my own space, a place which I can experiment with, decorate, paint, organise,take care of , and have my shares of success and failure stories. I guess its every woman's dream to have her own place. In my teenage and college days I use to do all the shifting, decors at my  home as my mom is not much of a decor person. Her life choices always include having a clean home and all mouths fed well. My choices were always given preferences in the shopping done for home be it sofa covers, furnitures, linens, utensils and many other stuffs. Till date my mom relies on my hometown visits to get her shopping done of sarees and jewellery too. We are like shopping buddies. So you see I had this habit of planning and executing in the matters of home.
But after getting married, everything changed to 360 degrees. In initial days I was not part of this planning and executing.I landed up in a well organised and managed household. Even the stuff for my room was purchased and provided. It was kind of weird feeling for me as nothing can be said or done, all I did was put a smile on my lips and just say 'its nice' when asked about the same. For others may be it could have been a pleasure and relief to have everything in place and already arranged for. But for me it was something not compatible with my independent spirit. I just shopped for my wardrobe and nothing else. Frankly speaking when my kid was born , I didn't even purchase the clothes, toys or any other stuff for her. But slowly I started changing the things, I started doing small shoppings for my room, my child and so on, finally today I am handling my own life. Not to mention this transition was not easy. My opinion was asked in matters but whether it held any weight or was just for testing me I never understood. Thankfully I came out of my nutshell and made my life better. Sometimes your flexibility and adaptability is not in best interest when its a matter of lifetime. One needs to get his/her voice heard and I realised this quite later, but still am not so late.
The motive behind writing this all so long story is to make one understand how much my dream matters for me. Its not like I have got bad in-laws etc, no nothing like that, things are way much better, full support and freedom are given as compared to most of the Indian joint families I have seen and observed in my neighbourhood, its just sometimes you want to be in your own skin without being answerable to anyone, and for this kind of lifestyle, joint families are not the setups to be looked upon, certain norms have to be followed to be compatible with the age difference we and the parents have .
 I am well aware and also bit worried too about paying all those heavy monthly premiums which will eat more than half of our earnings , it will not be easy as its just one earning member , my earnings are just like pocket money only. Considering the fact that we may not get to shift in my dream home it makes me doubt , but still I am happy to chase this dream, call me selfish or whatever. At the end I can proudly hand over something of our very own to our kid which she can say of her own, neither of her parents, nor her husbands. And I wish she may create one space of her OWN without depending to others. I want her to be a woman who buys her own diamonds. My parents empowered me to be that woman, and I had a taste of everything they thought for me, and now its my turn to make my girl into that empowered woman.

Seems quite long post I have written. So now putting a full stop here as house calling now :)
Till then take care and if you liked the post, do leave a comment as readers are the essence of writings. Loads of luv !!
Image Courtesy: Google images

Proceeding forward from my previous post, there is so much to catchup with, starting with the 'Matki Decoration', 'stage performance', and finally the 'Diya Decoration' in kid's school. The diwali celebration she had missed due to my unavilability.

Sometimes some events, happy or sad occurs with unpredictable baby steps and just do a blast all around. Happy ones scatters the laughters, smiles and promising future, while the sad ones strikes out of the blue , jolting and surprising everyone to dig up the reasons. Sometimes the events are termed as fate, and sometimes destiny, sometimes blessings, and sometimes 'buri nazar' aka evil eye.

Few months back things were going smooth in my little nest. Then started a series of sickness, firstly one down, then another, then another, again the cycle revised creating a chaos in otherwise our quiet lives. Me being the last victim of this sickness cycle got a big blow, which I haven't even imagined.
Unbearable pain, landing up in emergency surgery and now set on a recovery mode. Everything was so fast paced ,leaving both my families surprised and worried. Well, I am also confused about what should I feel, relieved on getting rid of the excruciating pain , or sad on losing the joy of second time motherhood. It is the period where my kid asks to bring a small baby from hospital every now and then, while here I am with nothing in my mind, just taking baby steps to get back into my normal life.

I wonder, how this fiasco made me want to go back to my previous life, about which I was cribbing in earlier posts. Today I have realised, even though i termed that routine as boring but it was at least healthy , I was on my own instead of being dependent. I guess that's the life's way of making one value what they had.I am recovering fine after the second Cesarean operation since unfortunately I suffered with an Ectopic Pregnancy, and wishing everyday to get fully functional ASAP. This Diwali was a disaster, all excitement , preparations, unopened shopping bags took back seat. Hopeful to celebrate the next one with everyone in good shape.
                                              'Health is wealth' indeed.
Apart from this, for the first time in  my married life, I am thankful to be in the joint family setup. During my hospitalisation , not even once I had to worry about my kid, her eating, sleeping, playing times. I was at peace that my kid is in good and safe hands. But yeah she is intelligent to take full liberty with her grandparents during my absence at home. In many ways, this whole chapter of  my absence has made my daughter more mature and understanding, not to forget more naughty and moody too , and my husband more caring and compassionate. Kid does understand that mumma has got hurt and has pain. The most important thing she understood is she can't touch my tummy, which is her most favourite thing and without rolling over it she couldn't sleep. Once I was discharged from hospital and reached home, she was so tempted to roll over my tummy and sleep on it, but understanding the facts, she showed big gesture saying 'Mumma dheere se touch karungi bas, dheere se hath rakhungi, please mumma' (meaning 'Mom, I will touch gently, will keep hand gently, please mom'). I wonder how did she managed to stay without me, anyhow thankfully she did it !!

Now just waiting to open my unpacked shopping bags, rearrange my closet, go on some shopping to burst the stress(that's the best remedy), and finally a visit to my parents. And a promise with self to take care of health, and maintain a healthy life for me and for my families.

Image courtesy http://www.health.harvard.edu/