Zindagi Everyday

Proceeding forward from my previous post, there is so much to catchup with, starting with the 'Matki Decoration', 'stage performance', and finally the 'Diya Decoration' in kid's school. The diwali celebration she had missed due to my unavilability.

Struggling motherhood, the title of this post may seem a little awkward and inapt for the supermoms out there, but at present I am so so in this 'struggling' phase of mommyhood . Reason??
N number of reasons I am dealing everyday with my growing girl. I myself wonder when was the last time I tried to connect with her in  a lovey dovey way as I use to before she started her formal schooling this year. Wait wait this doesn't mean I am blaming the school for my struggles. Not at all, I am quite happy with the school and the medium pace its applying to teach children, as I have seen other school students who are loaded with writing homeworks, rhymes, and assessments....yeah assessments for the nursery( some kids are not even complete 4 years of age) kids, not to forget these schools are the  CBSE and ISCE board schools while my kid has the IB curriculum. The other school kids have started writing the alphabets in the 4 lines notebook( we use to say 4 lines notebook in our school days, dont know what is it called in modern terminology) while my kid is still writing with crayons in the square boxes with the help of provided dotted lines and dots. Only difference is instead of using thick crayons, she has to use some sleek crayons which are just like pencils in gripping and writing as they do have a pointed end. And slowly slowly she is managing to make out the alphabets though they are not perfect but the good part is she makes them herself without allowing anyone to hold her hand and help her. So whatever she is writing its good as its done thoroughly by her. Only we need to sit and make her to write which is the last task in her small world to pursue. See this count to my struggle number 1- making kid to do homework.
 Seriously sometimes it takes whole weekend to convince her for completing her work, and the only time she will start doing it will be sunday evening. Imagine 4 pages of alphabets in a single evening, what a task I need to achieve every weekend. More the time tickles on the clock on sunday evening, more I am anxious, anxious not because I want the homework done, instead the reason being the amount of scolding, shouting, pleading, requesting, appreciating, bribing which all goes into making her do the work. And finally when nothing works soem of the spanking also comes in action which afterwards make me to feel guilty and pledging not to do again. Don't even get confused that my kid is such a poor child facing so much, she is one of the smartest kid having all the answers to your conversations handy. To get her wish done she first tries with me, then with the whole family including the grandparents. Actually grandparents are her trump card to get her wish done against my disapproval. They too are bound to hear her, actually we all struggle to get things done when she uses one or the other family member....she knows she has a choice.

Struggle number 2- making kid listen
Yes this is yet again everyday scenario I struggle with everyday.
Scenario1 -
Kid -Mumma Please glucose de dijiye ( Give me Glucon D, yeah she loves eating it rather than drinking in water).
Mumma- No beta, its unhealthy to eat like this. I will not give.
Kid - Mumma , please thoda sa de do
Mumma- Ok thoda sa only, aur nahi milega
Kid - happily, Ok mumma, thankyou mumma. And finishes it fastly along with watching POGO channel on TV. After finishing new story unfolds. 'Mumma , thoda sa aur, please, please, uske baad nahi mangungi'
Mumma- No, maine bola tha na aur nahi, bas thoda sa
Kid - please mumma thoda sa
Mumma- Ok, bas itna sa aur, ab nahi mangna
Kid- Thankyou mumma, love you mumma. And happily finishes the second installment too.again 'mumma thoda sa aur'
Mumma- No , bola na ..ab nahi, bahut ho gaya. Pet mein dard ho jayega
Kid- Main dadu k pas ja rahi hun.

And after sometime I see her coming with her dadu (grandfather), surprisingly my father-in-law is puzzled why I am not listening her. And when the whole story unfolds everyone is bowled with her strategic approach, utilising all available resources to get her wish done. Phew, that's almost everyday story in almost every activity of hers.

scenario 2-
Mumma- Wash your hands
Kid- 'No, mujhe  nahi karna' , and then unnecessary crying

scenario 3-
Kid- Mumma , gems chahiye
Mumma- No beta, teeth kharab ho jayenge. Dentist uncle ke pass jana padega, wo injections lagayenege
Kid - Main dadu k pass ja rahi hun
And the poor mumma wonders of this evergreen dhamki by kid.

scenario 4-Handling unnecessary crying everytime, be it getting her favourite toy, favourite food, favourite book, colors, be it anything. Just deny her teh thing and there goes a full fledge crying session.
Now a days new line has gotten added to this drama.' Sab chhale jao, main akele rahunga. Mumma Papa jao ghar se, chale jao.' :( :(
Seriously I am disturbed to the core, frustrated, irritated with this new addon. Every time giving in to her demands is making her stubborn and strategic.

Struggle number 3 - Get kid ready for school
This is again everyday struggle of poor mommy 'me' . Everyday she has different choices of family members to get ready for school. One day she want to get ready from her father, right from getting up, to taking bath, to breakfast,to dressing up, to comb her hairs, to pack her school bag and dropping to bus stop. On another day, she wont allow her father to even touch her, and will ask mumma to do all tasks. Then again some other day she will stop both of us and only her dadu or jiya ( grandparents) whomever she choose for the day have the privilege to get her ready for the day.
Phew, she has got really spoilt over the choices she have in the house.

Struggle number 4-  To make kid sleep on time
Thats a never ending struggle I am dealing with right from the beginning of motherhood. My last post 'Noisy Nap time' is already dedicated to this struggle. The new addon is the choice part again. Dont want to sleep she will rush to her grandparents. Me helpless can't do anything, if I shout, scold, or talk, at that point of time nothing works to make her listen me. All she will do is run away from me to avoid the nap time.

Struggle number 5- To control the TV and screen time
Whenever kid is in TV room, she needs the TV to be ON and that too with the POGO channel. No one can watch anything on TV unless she is not at home. Same applies with mobiles and laptops. She has got so use to the videos on you tube that either TV or videos are the only choices left with us.

The list is just endless if everything is included. But its really struggling time for me, and for whole family. At times when she asks me to go away I really question myself if my kid is really grownup to be at her own. But regaining my sanity, I am an adult and not to get messed up with kid. This struggling mummy is trapped in her motherly feelings and wondering how to discipline my child, make her understand the things rightly, to love her and control my emotions( anger,hurt,lost,etc etc).
I want to again treat her like my kid rather than an individual, but this time is her growing years where she is approaching to be an independent personality. I have to help her grow, but firstly I need to maintain my cool and temper, being short tempered and aggressive is not going to help.
PS: At night, the conversation begins again
"Mumma , main good girl banungi kal se, mujhe chod k mat jana aap"
And everything just melts.