Joint Family Vs Nuclear Family - part 1

Today I am going to write my thoughts on this infamous joint Vs nuclear family arrangement. But before making a start here comes the disclaimer.
" All views are my personal ones with no intention of hurting anyone. The examples ,narratives used here are totally based on experiences with myself, my friends and some acquaintances. While the images used are solely taken from Google Images and the respective writer/ blogger owns their copyright."

Phew such a long long disclaimer I had to put on even before making a start on the topic. Seems its gonna be an interesting write-up for me. Let me dig my thoughts and see where they take me.
Now coming back to the topic " Joint versus Nuclear Family ".
Nuclear family by definition means the family setup consisting of mother, father, and kids while joint family is the extended family including grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins and kids .
Both are the prevalent forms of family arrangements in our Indian society.
Why does the need for deciding the better comes in our minds, may be they are not perfect in themselves.
Let's have a look one by one on both arrangements, their advantages and disadvantages. 
Firstly let's take the Nuclear Family. Most people I knew from my bachelorhood days are settled in nuclear setup, the reason being working in the cities away from the hometown. Both working / one working, whatever, the couple do have their own struggles, worries, problems, and what not. And when I try to observe them, the first thought which comes to my mind is INDEPENDENCE. Oh I so love that feeling of independence. This struggling yet beautiful phase after marriage where you setup your small nest ,accumulating every thing required for both partners ,doing up the lovenest with tastes of both, which in turn gives a chance to understand each other's choices, preferences, tastes, excitement and many more thus starting to lay a foundation of bonding, belonging to the person and the place .
In this never ending process of creating one's abode, a place which both call their own with gleaming pride and sheer joy, the couple get the freedom to be experimental right from the food, to decor, to grocery shopping, to flexible timings, to weekend outings, to wandering streets aimlessly, to explore the places,new friendships, the city ,the person and what not(hold your imaginations people 😉 ). And above all that pride feeling when couple put their names together on the nameplate of this home, is something which I think cannot be expressed in words. The space and privacy are not something which lacks in this house of dreams .
The above written tasks/struggles I feel is a boon to the newly started relationship of the couple. The hard times, the struggling times, the crazy moments, work load, the new found companionship, the new chaos and craziness, this is the time when the couple enjoys the real life courtship and which lasts mostly for a lifetime. Also the friends made during this tenure are ones whom one can reach at the middle of the night without hesitation.
Slowly when the lives start synchronizing there comes a new life knocking at the door of this beautiful hardworked lovenest . Again a phase of chaos begin but this time it's chaos with joy. The new set of parents learn to love the child even before its born. They feel the bond, plan everything in advance, right from the dresses, room, toys, albums, pictures, cradles, etc and day by day grow with each other. Finally when the little one steps into their lives everything takes a shift filled with new struggles, new experiences, new experiments, new set of worries and joy, new feelings and new determination to do best. This closely knit family starts taking its baby steps in the new world of parenting. Some sacrifices, some hard decisions, and many learnings come in the way to test but the bond helps to sail through every problem and dilemmas .
Not to forget the never ending support of parents, grandparents help the couple to pass away every hardship, their loving words, care, sometimes physical presence and the visiting trips all make it happen to strengthen the foundation of love, trust,care and faith.
The physical distance between the families(parents and grandparents) exist which is inevitable in some cases but atleast the mutual respect, honor, trust, jovialness, stays in place maintaining the sanity of the relationships, and at the sametime giving space and privacy to the couple, the little one and their lifestyle.
I know just thinking about it sounds so rosy and alluring but really to raise a family, make a home on your own is way messy, and struggling, irritating, frustrating many a times. Though I agree that I am just looking on positives of this arrangement, there are many disadvantages too.
1)The major drawback is absence of family support system when it is required in an  unplanned situation like family emergency, sickness, touring, and many other reasons could be there depending on the lifestyle of the couple. 
2) The kids also suffer in long run when parents are busy fulfilling and meeting the demands of the family and young kids, thus having very less or no time to sit with kids and discuss. Though I think this situation is improving day by day, parents realising the importance of quality time with kids thus strengthening the family bond and mutual understanding. These days the working mothers don't even think twice before bidding a goodbye to their careers as the kids are high priority, and even in some cases the dads prefer to be stay at home and moms keep on working. So the sole objective is to take good care of child and not feeling him/her alone or left out. So this disadvantage is getting in control to some extent. 
3) In case the finances do not permit for an off from work ,there are multiple daycare's, playschools, which take good care of kids and make them independent and adaptable. Only one need to figure out the good daycares and have some checks and precautions. 4) Another point to be considered is parents getting aged and feeling lonely, and this can be a bit worked out with occasional visits and communication. As aging parents do long for their children and grandchildren, this setup still provides no concrete way to satiate their desires as migrating to the aging parents, leaving one's bread and butter is not feasible in this growing world of competition for survival. 5) In this nuclear setup ,it's totally parent's responsibility to feed, teach, play, entertain, and do every task of the kids single handedly  without any help .So it's sole parent's take to implement culture, morals, mannerisms, good  behavior and what not along with keeping up-to-date with the competiting surroundings. I swear this can be really annoying at times when kids decide to cross the patience limit of the parents. 
So it's like there are both advantages and disadvantages to this system but still I rate space and privacy higher which are never compromised in nuclear setup.&nbsp

Though I have tried to sumup the nuclear family arrangement, it's quite obvious I may have missed some very important pointers here. If you as a reader do find something amiss ,kindly add it in comments. 

As this post is getting longer and longer, will write about Joint family arrangement in my next post. Till then stay tuned, will be back soon 😎

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